Don’t Let Your Association with People Who Have Made Names For Themselves Make You Forget To Create Your Own Identity. Work Hard On Building Your Own Name and Identity for Your Legacy:
There is a local saying that ‘Man Lives By Man’ But how true is that?
When we were growing, we loved rubbing shoulders with those whose parents had made names for themselves. We loved making friends with rich people’s children, who too were very selective of their friends. They mostly associated themselves with other rich children who came to school with personal cars and drivers like them.
Written By Henriette Nshan Tem
Most of them had launch boxes or went home during launch, while we scrambled at the school refectory to buy gateau and beans or rice and beans for a 100 FRS.
At times they were the ones that the school designated as school prefects, not because of their intellectual strengths, but because they came from renowned influential families and the administration knew that giving them extra favour by lifting their children to an unmerited position; they will end space on their dining tables.
Growing up, I thought I could make my own name and give my family identity in society. I refused to walk with people who were already fulfilled because that could mean relying on them for everything, and when you rely on individuals, you become lazy and dependent.
I refused to associate with people who could give me things, and make me not look for my own. I was very determined to make that happened, and it worked well in my favour because the few wealthy students I met at the University were not friendly to the poor me. I worked well both in school and at home.
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| Don't Let The Identity Of People You Associate With Block You From Creating And Revealing Yours |
Explored opportunities that could catapult me to success, and bit by bit, I was able to pass through trouble waters in life, while counting every footprint I left in the mud so that I could easily remember how long and hard I have trekked and how many times I fell to get to where I am today.
The reason I am motivated to write about this subject is that yesterday, many individuals decided to become lazy and live like parasites on others refusing to make themselves useful while dreaming big because they are associated with some strong and powerful people, who they mistake for their relatives. I know a man in his late forties, driving the niece of one of the biggest tycoons in the country.
He is not employed as the driver to that young man, but he runs errands for him, and does some of his dirty jobs like pick and drop one side chick or the other. At the end of the day, the guy can be generous enough to give him some cash, perfume and he is satisfied with the fact that that he is acquainted to this or that A-list name, without thinking that with a little self-withdrawal and hard work, he too could become referenced tomorrow.
With that, he becomes a hero in his local neighbourhood, bringing information about the lives of those high ups, how they put 5 chicken on the fire for a meal, how they drink from golden cups etc. What he forgets is the fact that he has transformed himself into a trumpet slave, with the duty of chanting praises about someone because the person waters your throats with some strong liquor and give you a perfume to spray, with the opportunity of mingling with his likes.
With that, he becomes a hero in his local neighbourhood, bringing information about the lives of those high ups, how they put 5 chicken on the fire for a meal, how they drink from golden cups etc. What he forgets is the fact that he has transformed himself into a trumpet slave, with the duty of chanting praises about someone because the person waters your throats with some strong liquor and give you a perfume to spray, with the opportunity of mingling with his likes.
At the end of the day, what is the gain?
What will be said about you when you are gone?
That you were a slave to this or that big family?
What would you be identified with?
The same thing with ladies, who make friends to those up there in the society, just because they think rubbing shoulders with the higher-ups, will give them the opportunity to meet their egocentric wants and demands. Even if you have the opportunity to rub shoulders with those higher-ups, use it positively so that before the relationship crashes, you would have benefitted from some useful connections that will help you improve your life.
Experiences have proven that relationships with influential people do not last. At one point, they see you as an opportunist or a threat to what they hold dear, and when they start having second thoughts about you, the next thing they do is to throw you out of their lives and make a public show of you.
You can refuse to be a slave if you stop trying to identify yourself with someone high up there, just because you want to wine and dine on the same table as them, and go and tell the world.
You can refuse to be a slave if you stop trying to identify yourself with someone high up there, just because you want to wine and dine on the same table as them, and go and tell the world.
What next after wining and dining?
What next after shopping and clubbing?
What next after flying around Africa, Europe, Asia, America in private jets to go shopping and vacations?
Some of those high ups want to enjoy the privilege of being venerated alone and do not see reasons to make you become like them. You will remain their food, drink, shopping, vacationing and clubbing partner, but it will be difficult for them to say take this 5 million F CFA and start up something on your own, for fear that you might succeed and have the same reverence they have. Even if you ask them for help, they will give you a loan and tax you with a high-interest rate that will discourage you from accepting it.
Dear friends, I am not in any way saying you should not go close to wealthy friends or associate with them. What I am saying is that spending 24/7 with them will not identify you with them in any way. People might say ‘Look at Thatcher; she is a very close friend to the Fotso Victor’s family’. Did they say she is a MEMBER of the said family? NO. Being close to someone doesn’t make you the person, nor change your identity.
If we could stop being errand boys and girls because we want to bear identities that are not ours, we will find ourselves working hard to create our own real identities.
How will your children be called tomorrow?
Some of those high ups want to enjoy the privilege of being venerated alone and do not see reasons to make you become like them. You will remain their food, drink, shopping, vacationing and clubbing partner, but it will be difficult for them to say take this 5 million F CFA and start up something on your own, for fear that you might succeed and have the same reverence they have. Even if you ask them for help, they will give you a loan and tax you with a high-interest rate that will discourage you from accepting it.
Dear friends, I am not in any way saying you should not go close to wealthy friends or associate with them. What I am saying is that spending 24/7 with them will not identify you with them in any way. People might say ‘Look at Thatcher; she is a very close friend to the Fotso Victor’s family’. Did they say she is a MEMBER of the said family? NO. Being close to someone doesn’t make you the person, nor change your identity.
If we could stop being errand boys and girls because we want to bear identities that are not ours, we will find ourselves working hard to create our own real identities.
How will your children be called tomorrow?
What will they inherit after you?
When you will be gone, will the next generation of those you identified yourself with remember your children and take care of them?
In that case, you are raising a lazy generation, who will remain beggars and parasites.
Each and every one of us is born with a gift or talent that we can use to make a legacy for ourselves when we are gone. We hear of renowned shoe menders, bricklayers, electricians, and the list goes on and on, who made a name for themselves through their hand and hard work, and are still being remembered years after they are gone when people need services related to what they used to do.
I want my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren etc.. to remember me as Henriette Thatcher the Strong Media Woman, so that where future media men and women would be gathered, my image and name will forever remain a legacy in the media world.
I won’t want to be known as Henriette Thatcher great friend of the Musonge’s household or whatever. NO. I want to be remembered for the legacy I am working day and night to build, which is my OWN NAME.
You too can start working hard to build your identity and legacy from now.
You too can start working hard to build your identity and legacy from now.
What are you good at? Hair Dressing. Tailoring, Fashion Designing, Make-Up Artist, Actor or Actress, artist? etc.
Use that talent and passion in you, to create your personal identity and legacy.
I am Henriette Thatcher, the Strong Media Woman, the Great Blogger, the Inspirational Writer, and the Motivational Speaker. Who are you?
I am Henriette Thatcher, the Strong Media Woman, the Great Blogger, the Inspirational Writer, and the Motivational Speaker. Who are you?
Good day, dear friends!
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