One of the longest courses women take that they never graduate from is the quest to retrain a man and they don’t graduate not because the capacity to retrain him is not in them but because they don’t know how and unwilling to subject themselves to the discipline that is required to change him. MEN! Hmmm!
  • Truth is you can’t change a man on your terms he must be changed on his terms through influence.
  • That is why I often counsel singles not to venture into marriage if they are not willing to accept a man based on his current reality and not who they expect him to be. 
  • If he has sex problems, don’t think marriage will change him the same way if he is already used to beating you in courtship. 
  • Do not think getting pregnant will change him, capital NO!
So seeking to change or retrain a man is one of the common mistakes women make, so quit trying to change your man and stop complaining about what you permit so that he doesn’t consider your quest to change him as nagging and you know men detest a woman who nags.
  • In reality there are things you may not be able to change but there are other things you are empowered to change provided you are patient enough to consistently do what you need to do irrespective of the initial response you get from him.
  • So don’t seek to retrain him; seek to retain him and in retaining him, (with your words, service and actions) lies the key to retraining him.
Failure to remain a babe – I often ask women to come with some of the pictures they took when they were singles and compare with what they have become since they got married.
  • The person your man fell in love with wasn’t a wrapper tying ‘Mama’.
  • It was a babe that stood out among several other ladies that he fell in love with. 
  • And that is why you can’t afford to let down your guard under the guise of motherhood. 
  • I know it is tough to combine both roles in the 21st century but you can also structure your life in a way that gives you time to be able to take a very good care of yourself.
There was a case I once handled that almost led to a divorce. Mr. Olanrewaju (not his real names) worked with one of the new generation banks and travelled from Lagos to Warri for the wedding ceremony of one of his colleagues. He was one of the groom’s men and he made up his mind to thoroughly enjoy himself during the entire ceremony. On getting to the wedding venue smartly dressed, he noticed one of the bride’s maids that caught his attention only to realize he wasn’t the only one who was thrown off balance by her elegance and grace.

Everyone had something to say about Olayemi at the wedding and guys of course jostle to get her attention. Olanrewaju managed to get her complimentary card at the end of the wedding and they kept in touch. One thing led to another and they started seeing each other. Everywhere they went together people had something to say about Yemi because she combines her colors so well and became a symbol of elegance.
  • She was not only elegant in looks but she had a lovely heart and warm relational skills that she was a complete package.

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One of the primary goals of Oudney Patsika is to use media to change the cultural narrative. He aims to impact today’s culture with more accurate, responsible, and positive media stories about Christianity and the Church. Get In Touch Today!
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