Why Strangers Will Clap Louder Than Your Inner Circle - The Curse of Familiarity

The Truth About Support: Why Your Inner Circle is Often the Last to Clap

Insight By: Apostle AJ Masiyenyama | Topic: Human Nature, Growth & Relationships

The truth is uncomfortable but necessary: the people who know you best are often the last to support you. Familiarity doesn't just breed contempt; it can kill respect. If you are waiting for your old friends to validate your new level, you will be waiting a long time.

Apostle AJ Masiyenyama - Living Tabernacles Church
"Watching you change is a painful reminder that they haven't."
Image source: Facebook

The History Trap

Your inner circle doesn't see your growth; they only see your history. They remember the version of you that struggled, doubted, and failed. To them, you are still the person who borrowed money last year or the child they grew up with.

When you start evolving, it threatens the fixed image they've built in their minds. They can't fathom that you've become someone they didn't expect. It disrupts their understanding of the world.

The Stranger's Advantage

It’s not that strangers are nicer people. It’s that strangers meet you at your current level. They have no file on your past failures. They encounter the value you bring today.

Familiar people, however, are stuck on your past. That old familiarity breeds a comfort that can easily curdle into jealousy. They cannot celebrate the fruit because they are too busy judging the root they think they know.

The Meaning of Silence

Watching you change is a painful reminder that they haven't. They cannot support what exposes their own stagnation. So, instead of clapping, they go silent.

"No, they won't like, share, or rally behind you. They're often just waiting on the sidelines."

They are waiting to say one of two things: "I knew it wouldn't last" (if you fail), or "I've been watching all along; I always knew you had it" (if you succeed). Both are defenses for their own inaction.

Oudney Patsika Commentary: Accept the Shift

"Don't see their silence as rejection. See it as confirmation that you've outgrown your circle. It’s not personal; it's a difficult reality of human nature. As you evolve, you step into spaces where old voices can no longer journey with you, and sometimes silence is the clearest sign that your growth has taken you beyond their comfort zone."

By Oudney Patsika: As leaders and entrepreneurs, we must stop seeking validation from the "home crowd." Your hometown, your familiar circle, or even your long-time connections may never fully recognize who you’re becoming. Jesus himself could do no mighty works in his hometown because of their unbelief (Mark 6:5)—not because he lacked power, but because those around him were too familiar to see his transformation. The same principle applies to every visionary: proximity often breeds blindness.

If the people closest to you are silent, keep building. Keep showing up. Keep becoming. Greatness rarely receives applause at the foundation stage. But as you persist, your results will eventually speak a language they cannot ignore— a language louder than their silence, stronger than their doubts, and undeniable even to those who may never celebrate you publicly.

Expand Your Circle

Are you outgrowing your environment? Sometimes growth pulls us away from familiar places and people who no longer recognize who we are becoming. Let’s connect, grow, and build alongside those who see your future, not your past—people who understand your vision, honor your journey, and support the person you’re stepping into.

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