"I Made You, You Cannot Leave": The Spiritual Blackmail Entrenching Modern Church Leadership
Opinion & Analysis | The Crisis of Ownership, Control, and Exit in Ministry
Across the African church, many pastors are no longer guided by spiritual fathers—they are trapped by spiritual landlords. Ministry has been recast as ownership, where manipulation, fear, and emotional debt are weaponized to prevent gifted leaders from ever walking away.
| When mentorship quietly mutates into a life sentence. |
Across the African church landscape, a corrosive theology has taken root—the belief that because a senior leader once prayed for, ordained, or platformed someone, they now own that person’s destiny indefinitely. This is not discipleship. It is spiritual feudalism.
The phrase “I made you” has become a blunt instrument of control—used to silence questions, suffocate vision, and bind capable men and women to systems they have long outgrown. In this framework, leaving is not treated as transition, but as betrayal; growth is punished, and independence is spiritualized as rebellion.
When Mentors Become Masters
How spiritual fathering quietly mutates into control, ownership, and lifelong dependency—where guidance is replaced by domination, loyalty is enforced through fear, and mentorship becomes a tool for empire-building rather than the raising of free, mature leaders.
The core of this spiritual blackmail is narcissism disguised as fatherhood. Leaders look at the pastors under them not as sons to be released, but as assets to be hoarded. They calculate the investment: "I trained you, I gave you a platform, I gave you a microphone." Therefore, they reason, you owe them your life.
This mentality ignores the fundamental truth that it is God who calls and God who anoints. When a man takes credit for "making" a preacher, he usurps the role of the Holy Spirit.
Most of these heads are selfish and inward-looking. They want to use your youth, your energy, and your intellectual strength to build their vision. They are not interested in what God has deposited in you unless it expands their headquarters. You are fuel for their machine, and the moment you try to become a separate engine, you are viewed as a threat.
The Price of Freedom: Curses, Threats & Sabotage
Why many pastors are conditioned to fear obedience to God’s call—taught that leaving will invite curses, financial collapse, public humiliation, or spiritual retaliation, turning faith into a prison where freedom is portrayed as rebellion.
The transition from "beloved son" to "Judas" happens instantly. The moment you indicate a desire to leave, the spiritual blackmail begins. They release curses over your future. They speak failure into your next season. They tell the congregation, "Anyone who leaves this house will wither." This creates a psychological prison where pastors stay not out of loyalty, but out of terror.
It goes beyond words. "The moment you want to leave, they put stumbling blocks." They will sabotage your name, ruin your reputation with other leaders, and ensure no one supports you. In extreme cases within the African context, the critique suggests some leaders will go as far as hiring people to physically harm or kill those they view as competitors. It is a mafia system operating under the banner of the Cross.
Micro-Managing the Anointing: When Control Replaces Calling
Even if you stay and are given a branch to lead, you are in chains. They will send you the structure from headquarters. You are told:
- What to preach: Canned sermons that exalt the organization, not Christ.
- How to pray: Specific prayer points that often center on the "Man of God" rather than the needs of the people.
- When to stop: "Sermon maximum 45 minutes." The Holy Spirit is put on a timer.
A pastor cannot preach a fresh revelation because "the elders of the church will go and report." The local leadership structure is often weaponized to spy on the branch pastor to ensure compliance with the "franchise brand." This surveillance culture kills authenticity and breeds hypocrisy.
The Cost of Control
The ultimate victim of this blackmail is the congregation. "Because of this, the church has no effect on the people."
We have churches filled with activity but void of power. We have pulpits filled with fearful men who are puppets of a "papa" rather than prophets of God. When a leader acts out of fear of their superior rather than reverence for the Holy Spirit, transformation ceases.
True fatherhood empowers sons to be greater than the father. True leadership creates other leaders, not followers. It is time to break the chains of spiritual blackmail.
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