Saturday, 16 June 2018

Rules For Wives During The World Cup - Husbands During The World Cup!

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Here Are The Rules For Wives During The 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia:

1. From Thursday 14 June up 14 Jun 2018, you as my wife should read the sport pages so you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this, you will be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any of my attentionduring the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia.

2. During the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.

3. I do not mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
Rules For Wives During The World Cup - Husbands During The World Cup!
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my juice or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor ... it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs of Cocacola or Pepsi in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on. And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and it will affect the way I love you during the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia ... Please mind your WORDS! Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to me becoming very bitter ...!

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
Rules For Wives During The World Cup - Husbands During The World Cup!
8. Most importantly, making love is out of the question during the entire month. It has to be a 'quickie' and that has to be during half-time as well.

9. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times...!
10. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.

11. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

12. The daily the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this ... why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
Rules For Wives During The World Cup - Husbands During The World Cup!
13. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards!

Husbands During TheWorld Cup!

Rules For Wives During The World Cup - Husbands During The World Cup!


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