WEDDINGS: It’s your day, enjoy — not endure

The big day belongs to her and she must, therefore, enjoy it not endure it. Let’s face it, a wedding is celebrated in honour of the bride, though there are some privileges accruing to the groom too.


It is good to please people, but it is wise not to do it at the expense of own happiness.

Often, wedding couples tend to sacrifice the better part of their time trying to please other people at the expense of their wishes.

Upon discovering that those whom they have been trying to please never appreciated their effort, they end up extremely disappointed.

The wedding day belongs to the bride and the groom — all other people including parents and uncles, are secondary.

Brides of principle are not bullied into incorporating traditions or programmes they are not comfortable with. Fulfil your nuptial dream by staging a memorable wedding, which fully articulates your character and personality.
 WEDDINGS: It’s your day, enjoy — not endure
Below are some of the rights entitled to the wedding couple:

Right to Invite
As a couple you are entitled to invite whoever you are comfortable with. To the uninvited, do not take offence, there might be a reason behind and do not try to find out why, you may invite a lifetime stun unto yourself.

It does not mean that you are hated if you happen not to be invited to a close relatives’ wedding, but the decision may have been reached in the best interest of you and your personality.

Right to Marriage Officer
Notwithstanding the fact that by virtue of being a legal practitioner a magistrate automatically qualifies to be a marriage officer, it is good to have a qualified marriage officer who is a member of your church to preside over your marriage, but they must not impose themselves on you.

This is the case with most churches where church elders or leaders by virtue of being pastors end up imposing themselves as marriage officers. I have attended weddings where church elders ended up giving a sermon, not just a sermon, but an off topic address; regretfully disparaging the couple.
In situations where the bride and the groom go to different churches, it is wise to invite a marriage officer who is neutral and an all-round speaker.

Avoid “fish-pond preachers” — a wedding is not a platform to make followers unto oneself or to convert others into liking one’s church. Know your marriage officer and see if he or she will be able to leave you dignified and decorous before your in-laws.

Right to Vows
Oath of office is a basic fundamental for anyone entering a public office. Declaring allegiance is paramount to the success of an organisation or a country by would-be office bearers, be it minister or president.

This is the same with wedding vows.
A vow is like a pledge of commitment to a marriage from the bottom of one’s heart.
This implies that vows must be heart-based not religious-based or mere rhetoric.

Marriage officers must not limit you on what to say — it is you who knows why you have married each other, therefore, must tell congregates your promise and assurance.

In actual fact vows are the reason why we invite people to grace and bear witness to the union.
Vows must relate to your road to the big day and precisely speak into your future.

From time immemorial, it has been the sacrosanct duty of religious leaders and celebrated artistes to craft wedding vows on behalf of the community.

Many of such have become the traditional vows that have been around for long and widely quoted.
They resonate with the mind and become inviolable.

Traditional vows appeal to many Christians because they express Biblical truth, which is more binding and more church-like, thus appealing even to those who nominally profess the faith.

Whichever way you will chose for your ceremony, the best wedding vows are those that meaningfully speak into your life.

Right to Choose Speakers
This is a real spoiler alert. Know your invitees’ conduct and speech when they are surrounded by multitudes.

Some people get so excited to the extent that they start behaving like “a little boy who has received a new set of toys” embarrassing you in the process.

There are uncles who can come with an ulterior motive of settling personal scores with your father who may have not finished paying lobola for your mother.

These can say detrimental things, which can leave your in-laws with a lot of questions about your personality or family cohesion.

Be on the guard, exercise your right and avoid party spoilers. It is your day!


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One of the primary goals of Oudney Patsika is to use media to change the cultural narrative. He aims to impact today’s culture with more accurate, responsible, and positive media stories about Christianity and the Church. Get In Touch Today!
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