Thursday, 2 April 2015

Love and Dating - 6 relationship myths that are totally false

There are different relationship tips we've heard over and over again, and some have even become cliche, but people still believe them.

But the truth is, many of these tips are totally false, and made up by people who think they know what is what.
Couple in love
(Shutterstock)
Read six popular relationship myths you need to stop believing:

  1. Marriage means happily ever after — no fighting allowed: Although fighting is not good for any marriage, being able to work through disagreements and resolve them is very good for a marriage, says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka 'Dr. Romance'), psychotherapist. Avoid screaming matches and name calling. Instead, take a moment to calm down so that you can approach the issue in a rational way, she advises.
  2. A baby will make your marriage stronger: False, say the experts. In fact, a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that having kids often leads to a sharp drop in marital bliss —especially if you have kids quickly after you've said 'I do'. (Though the study authors say that even if you're not-so-thrilled with your spouse right after the baby arrives, your overall familial bliss could make up for some of that.)
  3. The couple that plays together, stays together: Do you think you both need to love reality TV and football to have a solid marriage? Think again. Sharing some interests is great, but you should have some on-your-own activities to keep your life fresh and interesting. "Couples who do everything together make me nervous because they veer toward the codependent end of the relationship spectrum," says Dr. Seth Meyers, a licensed clinical psychologist.
  4. Never go to bed angry: It’s a nice idea in theory, but let’s face it —continuing an argument into the wee hours isn’t necessarily the best idea. "People tend to fight at night when they’re really tired," says happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, author of Happier at Home. "Instead of continuing to fight, suggest that you have a good night’s sleep and then talk about it." The disagreement may seem a whole lot sillier once you’ve both had a chance to cool off.
  5. You need to have a set date night: A date night is a great if it works for you, but it doesn't exactly work for everyone, Rubin says. "We’re just so happy to stay home, and we found that even a monthly adventure would be a hassle. We just want to put on our sweatpants and relax." And if you’d rather chill on the couch than make plans for dinner and a movie, you’re not putting your marriage at risk.
  6. Half of all marriages end in divorce: So not true. If you feel like you're fighting against the odds to keep your marriage intact, you might be able to breathe a little easier. Research has shown that the divorce rate is smaller than that—it maxed out at 41 percent back in the 1980s, and it’s currently on the decline. And if you’re a pair of college grads, you have a far greater chance of making it to that golden anniversary — your odds of divorcing may be more like 25 percent.


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