Wednesday, 26 March 2014

WEDDINGS: COMPARING YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR FRIEND’S SPOUSE

Weddings: An Explicit Series on Sex and Relationship (Episode 1)

Issues for Married Couples
She stood wondering amidst tears where she had gone wrong having just lost her husband to his secretary. She had completely underestimated his ability to walk out on her because they were inseparable before they got married and as a committed Christian she believed he would never cheat on her.

As a matter of fact, a God fearing man was top on her list of qualities to look out for in a spouse and she thankfully got one. But how come the same man whose dedication to church activities is unquestionable could walk out on her without even blinking.

In her confusion she was referred to my office and she paid for 2 sessions but it wasn’t long before we arrived at where she went wrong. She had blamed him for not being faithful but she failed to see her mistakes until we began to analyze all that had happened before he took off with the new woman.


married couple
Often times, married women go through different forms of heartbreak and most of the time it is more about a cheating spouse and they seek to find why a man would cheat on a woman. I usually start my sessions by asking a question many of them never expect because they have never thought about it and it is the question ‘Why doesn’t he deserve to cheat’? By the time we sit to analyze the question together many of them now realize the areas they had gone wrong that could have made their relationships turn out better than it went.

This is not to justify men who cheat because I don’t believe there is any reason that is good enough for a man to cheat on his wife and coupled with the fact that some men would still cheat irrespective of what the woman does (some of them are addicts suffering from learned helplessness)

I honestly think what we call marital infidelity are preventable if the right things had been done by the parties involved. I will start looking at some of the common mistakes married women make and I believe this would really assist our women sustain and build an incredible marriage that is affair proof.

MISTAKE No. 1.

COMPARING YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR FRIEND’S SPOUSE
Women tend to do this to challenge their men to take responsibility but it most times backfires because it is a direct attack on his identity and ego. A man’s ego is that part of him that must be carefully managed or we might just have a serious battle in our hands.

More often, we fail to carefully analyze our men to adequately understand their strengths, weaknesses, communication clues and correctional styles; thereby relating without knowledge because you feel your friend’s man is better.

We will continue from Types of Spouse and Mistake No. 2 next post…

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